Today, I want to share something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember and I am sure you’ve probably struggled with it too. Negative body image. I know everyone has done this, you’re scrolling through Instagram and you come across an Instagram model. She’s “perfect” and the more you look at the picture the more you degrade yourself. “I don’t have a flat stomach like her.” “I don’t have long shiny hair.” “I don’t have this, I don’t have that.” The list could go on and on. This is a small-scale example of having a negative body image, you think you need to look a certain way to be beautiful.
I want to talk about my personal journey with my negative body image and the steps I am taking to help evolve my negative thoughts. I hope you can connect with my experience and I hope this post helps you take the right step towards loving your body. First of all, I want to mention something I hear all. the. time. “You’re so skinny, how could you hate your body?” When I hear this, it makes me feel as if my feelings aren’t valid just because I weigh a certain amount. The tricky thing about negative body image is it can manifest in anyone! You can be severely underweight or severely overweight, no matter what the scale says you can still think poorly of your body. I am such a big believer that no matter how much weight you lose, being skinny will not make you happy. “I am so fat, I need to lose weight.” “Once I lose the weight, I can wear a bikini.” “I bought these shorts to motivate me to lose weight.” I hear these things from women in all parts of my life, even women I don’t know. Those statements make me so sad when I hear them, we say things to ourselves we would NEVER say to anyone else. Would you ever tell your friend “You need to lose 10 pounds before you wear something like that”? I don’t think so!! I always encourage others to be happy with who they are NOW, not who they want to be in the future (easier said than done, I know). I have been going to therapy for almost 2 years now. I have discussed all topics with my therapist but a main one we focus on currently is my body image. This first came up when I mentioned how some people compliment me. “You are so tiny.” “You look so cute in that outfit because you’re so small.” Are these compliments hurtful? No. Do these compliments trigger my negative body image? Absolutely. The people telling me these things mean absolutely no harm, I know that. BUT, when I get compliments regarding my body it reinforces this irrational thought I have that if I were to gain weight, I wouldn’t be as valuable to people or I wouldn’t be as loved. This is where my negative body image manifests the most, in compliments. Obviously, everyone loves compliments! I love lifting other women up and giving them love, BUT what I don’t like is complimenting women on their bodies. Yes, I said it! I don’t like commenting on other women’s bikini’s pictures and say something like “omg you’re so skinny.” I don’t like telling women that the dress they’re wearing “makes them look so tiny!”. I don’t like that one bit. So, I want to challenge everyone reading this, yes YOU, to give more meaningful compliments. Let’s start complimenting each other by saying “You are glowing with happiness.” “You outfit is so cute!” “Your makeup is on fleek today.” “Your laugh is contagious.” Let’s focus our compliments and our energy on things that bring positivity into someone’s life. After I realized how much compliments trigger me, I needed to take action on these negative thoughts I have when I am complimented on my weight. I can’t tell every person I encounter “Don’t compliment me on my size.” So, I had to work on my thought process when these compliments would pop up. When someone compliments me, I have to remind myself of a few things. #1 First, I remind myself that the person complimenting me is not meaning any harm. They are trying to uplift me and make me feel good. They don’t know my struggles and I’m sure if they did they would have complimented me on something else, no one is perfect and I can’t expect people to NEVER give me a compliment on my body ever again. #2 Next, I remind myself that my value is not in my weight. My value lies within what kind of person I am and how I make others feel. #3 Lastly, I try to think of a compliment for myself on something besides my body. I don’t share this with anyone, I just kind of use it as a way to “counter” the body compliment. For example, I could give myself a “counter” compliment like “I worked so hard on my makeup today and it turned out so well.” OR “I didn’t put on any makeup at all and I’m loving my natural look.” I want to push you to work out and eat healthy to FEEL better. Don’t do those things to reach a certain number on the scale. Work on your mental health, start journaling, start keeping track of your negative thought patterns, love who you are right now. Not who you want to be. Although I still struggle with my negative body image, I am getting better and better every day. It is a constant learning process and a STRUGGLE, but I hope you learn to love your body and know you’re not alone. If you or someone you know has an eating disorder, here is the NEDA Helpline number. You can call toll free at 1-800-931-2237
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MEET THE BLOGGERHello! Paige here. I see you found your way to my page... haha no pun intended. Anyways, this page is for the 20-something gals who feel like they are stumbling through life. I hope this page brings you comfort, peace, and confidence. Dive into my posts and reach out to me anytime on my Instagram! I would love to chat and make a connection with you.
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