Hello to whoever is reading this! DID YOU KNOW that March is National Colon Cancer Awareness Month. Now you may not have been affected by colon cancer or even know that it has a whole month of awareness, but I am here to spread the awareness a little.
Colon Cancer has played a bigger part of my life than I could ever imagine. When I was in high school, I remember a mother had been diagnosed with Colon Cancer. The mother lost her life to the fight against Cancer and I remember it was hard for the entire community because she played such a huge role in everyone’s life. I remember not being able to imagine what the family was experiencing and how tough that could be. Fast Forward to 2017. We had received news that my uncle had a mass in his colon, and it was cancerous after having his colonoscopy. My uncle is like a father to me, I would spend summers with my grandparents and see him almost daily. He is the funniest kindest person you could ever have the joy of knowing. This news was hard and scary because I personally did not know much about colon cancer, treatment, or what it meant. This hit the family a little hard as his grandmother (my great-grandmother) had passed away having colon cancer back in the early 1990s. He had the mass removed and began chemotherapy treatment. In 2018, we got the news he was in remission and was doing well. There were no signs of cancer! This was great. The scariest moment of my life. April 2019. I lived in Michigan at this time and had received a text message from my mother at 6 am, that she was not feeling well and hadn’t for days. She was asking if I could come take her to the doctor. I lived 6 hours away and this woman NEVER (I mean NEVER went to the doctor, before this it had been 21 years since she had any medical attention). I remember calling my sister and being like mom is acting weird. After many calls and hours of shuffling, mom was finally at the ER and preparing for a surgery. 11 of us sat in the waiting room alone just chatting, laughing about times mom had done crazy things, and just waiting for any news. Finally, hours later the doctor came out and we all sat around. He explained how she had an infection that had busted and tore part of her colon that they had to repair. Then he said, “While I was in there, we found a mass that we removed, and I am pretty sure it is cancerous.” I do not think there was one of us that didn’t have tears in our eyes. We had no idea what that could have meant and to this saint of a woman who had done so much for others. We all were just shocked and I know for myself not prepared for all the time next. At this time I am very thankful for my sister who coordinated most of my mother’s medical needs. After the test confirmed it was cancer, we had to do a scan and see if there was any more. An oncologist was found and she met to figure out where to go next. We found out that the cancer she had/has is VERY aggressive. Her cancer had spread into her lymph nodes and affected areas around the colon and near her spine behind her stomach. They are unable to be operated on, so she began chemotherapy. Anyone who saw her during her first stages of chemo would have no idea she was having chemo, she would be sick a couple days after treatment, but she did not let herself be stopped from working, being involved. Mom continued chemo but was doing very well and there was no need to be worried at this time. This chemo unfortunately made her loose feeling in her hands and feet, which she still struggles with a little bit. In July 2019 my uncle had a check-up and new cancer spots were found on his liver. The cancer had spread from being only in the colon to other areas. He has three children and a wife. Cancer plays a bigger part in his world than any of them or the extended family would like. He had half of his liver removed and dealt with many infections and hospitalization. He completed chemotherapy again and recovered, but now is checked more often. In September 2019, My mom was in REMISSION! WOOOO, no cancer was found anywhere, the spots had decreased, and she was clear!!! She then took a break from chemo for a few months and enjoyed the holidays, then January 2020 she had another scan. The cancer had returned and spread a little in other lymph nodes. This time she had another aggressive chemo, different from the last one. It made her sicker, she lost her hair and became less active. They completed aggressive chemotherapy and knew from the last time they could not take a break from the chemo, so she does maintenance chemo in pill form daily and a weekly infusion. She does better on these, but still has side effects that affect her everyday life. In January 2021 we had been in and out of the hospital a few times over the past few months due to random things going on with mom. We did find out that my mother’s cancer has spread into her brain and she has some tumors. Thankfully, our family continues to have a strong and big support system. Now this long personal story was not for attention or to request pity. This long story is my way of saying, GO GET YOUR COLONOSCOPY! Go see doctors and get the recommended test! The day of not eating and drinking laxatives is much easier than treatments. My sister just recently was able to get hers. I want to share her experience as well to bring awareness to the importance of this. My family qualifies for early testing due to our mother having colon cancer. My sister went and she hated the prep work, but she had a polyp removed that the doctor said a few more years and it would have been cancerous. GET YOUR COLONOSCOPIES! I want to send a personal note to EVERYONE who has supported my family during this time. My parents, four siblings and I all have extended family, in-laws, friends, and a community who has provided so much emotional and physical support over the past two years. Thank you everyone for the love, prayers, benefits, dinners, gifts, and everything else you have provided for my mother and all of us. We truly could not do this without you! It takes a village to be able to fight cancer and Cindy does it well!
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t’s been a bit since I have written for the Babes. To be honest I have been a little unmotivated to do my basic life activities such as writing posts. Maybe, it has to do with the winter/ COVID blues. However right before I stopped writing my posts a question was submitted about setting boundaries. One could argue that me not writing a post was setting a boundary for myself and my personal needs.
Setting boundaries is one of the hardest parts of life to learn, discover, and complete. I am not sure that it can be 100% completed/ learned, but it can be practiced. How does one set boundaries you may ask? Be selfish, don’t do anything you truly don’t want to do. I wish it could be that simple. If you choose to be selfish and do only things for yourself then you miss out on a key component of being a caring and loving person. If you do everything for everyone else however you lose a key component of yourself. Where does that leave us? Well, trying to find a balance. I like to think of it as a healthy life plate. Growing up and with your doctors you learn about a healthy plate and having a balance of the five food groups. We have been taught the importance of each food group and having a healthy portion of all of them to complete a good meal/ balance of nutrition that we need to survive. I would like to think we can adapt this plan into our lives and setting boundaries. Finding the healthy portions of what we allow into our lives with the balance of what is good for us and our soul. Balancing life looks very different for everyone. You can be working, going to school, raising children, planning an important event, socializing, having self-care, house chores, family obligations, basic life needs, etc. The list can go on and on of what you may need to balance. Your life also has many transitions and what you are balancing changes throughout time. So, as you go through life setting boundaries for yourself, in my opinion, is being mindful of what is on your plate. Just like when eating, if you put too much on your plate and consume it all, you became stuffed, overwhelmed, and sick. If you don’t have enough, you are left hungry and wanting more and look to unhealthy foods to fulfill your needs. Being mindful of these needs and the appropriate amounts of responsibility look different for everyone. Some people need more social interactions, some need more self-care, some may need responsibilities. When you are filling your plate/ taking on responsibilities be mindful of what is already on your plate. Self-evaluation is HUGE for this balance and setting boundaries as well. You must evaluate what you can take on. When you become overwhelmed, acknowledging you are overwhelmed and needing to give up the responsibilities you have. There is no right or wrong way to set a boundary, but you must be mindful of when your plate is full, where there is space, and where you can best assist not only yourself, but the others that are affected by the responsibility you are taking on. If you decide to set a boundary, be respectful and acknowledge why you cannot take on a certain responsibility that is asked of you. Communication is key with life and being successful. If you are overwhelmed and can not handle the stress that someone is asking of you, saying no is okay and explaining why can maybe help not hurt the relationship. At the end of the day, there are no hard guidelines to setting boundaries. There is being mindful of yourself and your life plate. Be content with your responsibilities in a healthy way and ensure that you are having your needs met on all aspects mentally, socially, physically, etc. Ensure the balance is appropriate and you are acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses. Happy Holidays! This year has definitely been a difficult time and changes of traditions in my home. Usually I spend Christmas Eve with my husband’s extended family and then Christmas day we wake up with his parents and head to my parents to have a big family Christmas with my siblings. This year due to COVID we missed the big family get togethers, which has been tough. Clayton and I have found some new ways to bring ourselves joy this holiday season by watching movies, playing games, having a fire in our fireplace, and spent a couple nights baking treats for our family and neighbors. I for sure thought that baking together would not be the best idea, as I am a little bossy so I have been told (haha). However it ended up being fun to make some of our favorite things. I want to share with you the most basic of recipe but so worth a try.
OREO BALLS! First, head to the store and pick up: 1 package of oreos 1 Package of cream cheese White chocolate melting chocolate (We got Ghirardelli white chocolate chips) (You’ll also need a small amount of crisco). Leave your cream cheese out so it becomes room temperature. Start with the oreos, you are going to crumble these bad boys. I used a food processor and you want to grind the cookies whole until they are powdery and have no clumps. Next in another bowl you want you take the cream cheese and use a mixer to fluff it up. You don’t need to go super long just enough to break the form of the block so it is fluffy. Once you have done this, mix in the oreo dust. I used a spatula to mix these, but you can use the mixer! Once it is evenly mixed you are going to roll 1 inch balls and place on a baking sheet. (Don’t let them touch but they can be close to each other). Once you get all the mixture rolled. You are going to throw them in the freezer for 1 hour. Final steps hang in there! The melting chocolate, pour the chocolate into a microwave safe bowl with 3.5 teaspoons of crisco. You can also melt it on the stove, but I never have good luck with this because I usually burn it. Using a microwave though, place the bowl in for 30 seconds, stir the mix and repeat this until it has melted completely, but don’t do more than 30 seconds a time. Once melted take those frozen oreo balls and dip away! Some people save crumbs and put those on top. Make them special color the melting chocolate if you want. Once the chocolate has hardened, enjoy! The hard shell outside and the soft creamy oreo mixture on the inside is the perfect treat. I love the taste of oreos, but don’t like hard cookies, so I enjoy when they have been softened up and a quick treat to enjoy! I hope you all have had a great holiday and find some small happiness in every moment. During these uncertain times of COVID, the holidays, winter blues, and whatever else you may be dealing with know you are not alone. The struggles of COVID seem to be ruining more and more. For myself personally, I am really struggling with Holidays not being the same and not being able to spend time with my family. I do not want to get into the problems of COVID and mental health at this time.
However, I do want to add if you are experiencing any depression, anxiety, or other struggles please reach out to the SAMHSA National Help Line (1-800-662-4357). I really want to talk about the powers of love and love languages. So many of you may not know that love is expressed and received in different ways and unique for each person. First here are the 5 love languages and a brief description.
Now how we all appreciate these love languages are different. The way we express and the way we receive love can be the same or different. Sometimes there is a need for all the love languages in our lives depending on the time and who we are with. For myself, I often express love in gift giving. I love on occasions to gift others with presents and showing my appreciation and love for them on their birthdays, holidays, and sometimes out of the blue. However, I do not like receiving gifts. So those who I buy holiday gifts for, I love you, I appreciate having you in my life. I do not expect a gift in return. I appreciate the art of giving to others in ways that I feel are special, so do not feel bad if I give you something that you didn’t return. I like to receive love in different ways, but my favorite is words of affirmation. I value when I hear I love you, but not just the words, but why and expressing the good things about my work. I lack a lot of confidence in myself and often feel like a disappointment for others so it is nice to have those little reminders that I am doing alright and people care. I have found that love languages can do wonders for many relationships in your life. Pay attention to the way people treat you and understanding that every shows love and receives love differently. I urge you to find what you value from others, but also provide to those you are closest with the love they may need. Like I said before sometimes everyone needs a little bit of each love language. During this time of COVID and winter blue practice a little love for yourself but also for those you care about. Make a phone call to talk to a friend, your mother, grandmother. Text your cousin who you only see on the holidays and check in with them. Call your friends and ask them about life. Bake cookies for the neighbors. Bake cookies for yourself. I encourage you to find your love language for others, but also yourself. Stay happy babes, love one another! Hello! It is lovely to be joining my dear friend, Kadie, and her girl tribe here at Bittersweet Babes. I have never written a blog, but who is a social worker if we can’t step out of our comfort zone. Here I go making myself vulnerable to see where it leads.
My first blog is about hobbies and self-care. Weirdly, my new husband and I decided that we needed more time apart from one another. We discussed how there are many personal hobbies and self-care that we have stopped doing for ourselves since being the beginning of our relationship. In the first month of marriage we are learning how to be happy with ourselves again too. We made a commitment to spend the rest of our lives together that did not mean we had to continue spending every minute together. I began my self-care journey by starting a puzzle. I grew up completing puzzles with my grandfather and great-grandmother. I spent summers with my grandparents where my grandfather and I would often sit at their kitchen table working on a puzzle together. At my great-grandmothers home there was always family and especially good times. She also ALWAYS had a card table in the living room where she had a puzzle available for anyone to work on it with her. Most visits we would sit to work on the puzzle as she told her stories or recent family gossip. For my family, puzzles are what brought us together and made us spend time with one another. As I sat for three days completing my puzzle, I remember the good times with family, but also enjoyed the moment of peace and tranquility I was able to have for myself. It’s amazing how much I lost the ability to sit down and do absolutely nothing else but one task. I forgot the importance of self-care and hobbies. So, I ask, have you forgotten the importance of self-care? If someone asked, what hobbies do you possess? I ask you, if you are in a relationship, to find something you used to do before your relationship that brought you joy. Think back on memories and good times with people you love. Somedays, be a little selfish and do something important to you. |