As a working/homeschooling mom of 4 with so many irons in the fire it is really easy to push my self-care to the back burner. Back burner? Thats an understatement. I think I am somewhere in the back of that closet that you never organize or clean because it's so far gone that you think why start now? For example. I haven't worn make up in....it's been years. I just stopped for some unknown reason and thought eh this is just what I look like. But I have been struggling with my self image (corona-pounds, lazy, all that) and I am ready to do the cliché "new year new me" routine complete with a diet, health, and body improvements.
So, I start the diet. I then begin to Pinterest easy make-up routines. Oh my word. The first one swore up and down it was easy and then lasted 10 minutes, used an insane number of brushes of all shapes and sizes, and so many different palettes I lost track. All the while the skinny makeup expert kept assuring me this was sooo easy and was good for everyday routines. I am not sure I am ready for this. So maybe we will just concentrate on the diet. It really is going okay but here is where the greatest dilemma is. I am such an emotional eater. And I justify it every time! So now not only am I watching my food intake and exercise, I have to retrain my mind to stop being emotional or the constant need to justify my actions. My word this new me needs so much work. Then I look in my closet and begin to ponder when the last time I bought anything truly new. I mean I have been given stuff and bought used clothes but when had I bought something brand new because it fit just perfectly and I loved it. I haven't the slightest clue and that's a little sad. My closet needs major updating but I refuse to buy clothes to cover up my corona pounds. Maybe I will lose some weight and reward myself with new clothes. If I ever lose weight. Why isn't it just flying off like I want it to? Okay. So, the new me isn't exactly off to a roaring start. I have no make-up, no clothes, and this one day of dieting did nothing for my figure. Wow this is super encouraging right? But what I am telling myself is this. The weight didn't get put on in a day and unfortunately my God won't work that miracle and take it all off in a day. I can't just go out and pull a Julia Roberts in pretty woman (minus the hooker thing) shopping spree and buy a whole new wardrobe. And I like art and painting but I am pretty sure I won't ever be able to paint and contour my face enough to look as good as the skinny makeup artist. But here is what I can do. I will give myself some grace. I will be patient and understand that there will be good and bad days. I will continue to try because honestly, I am worth that much. So, new me? You best get yourself ready because I have been in the back of the closet for long enough and I am ready to take care of myself this year better than I have for a long time. There. I hope my self-pep talk encourages you too.
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